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    April 10

    感觉好像 H5N1 ......

    最害怕、最不希望的一天到来了……一、二、三,咳嗽进入第三天了。为什么总是在这个时候给我麻烦!真讨厌,真无奈……

    去年的这个时候,也是因为咳嗽,结果搞得病入膏肓。在加护病房过了整整一个星期。今年的今天,咳啊咳。超坏的痰,为什么总是埋伏在肺里?难道就不能乖乖出来吗?医生也看了,药也服了,我就是没办法咳出来……每当遇到这样的情况,总是感到万分的恐惧。只因为肌肉无力、只因为它,我才沦落到这样的地步。

    也许大家都认为,咳嗽而已嘛,没什么大件事,多几天就自然而然地好起来了。至于我呢,一闻咳嗽有痰,就觉得恐怖得要命,就好像 H5N1 一样,听起来还真是心有余悸。什么仙丹也尝试了,而对我来说,一个字,“无效”!再多两星期,就开始我的旅程了。痰啊痰,请你赶快消失,要不然,整个计划得垮了。

    同样的情况,也遭遇了不少次,而每一次都接近生死关头。但,为什么我开始不晓得什么情况下才叫严重、什么情况下才是安全?是不是到了紧要关头,我才恨下心来求医呢?不懂,开始不懂了。

    之前总以为我早已习惯与这病相处,为什么事到如今,我总觉得很困难?很难理解?甚至更难摸索……有谁可以告诉我,到底我该如何呢?Disappointed

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